Now You Know
by Maeve Morgan
Summary: Will had never really been good with words, he was more of a man of actions. And now his actions had gotten him where he was. Post 1x10. Manstead.


**Disclaimer:** Chicago Med, its characters and universe belong to Dick Wolf and Matt Olmstead and NBC. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this TV show and personal pleasure.

A.N.: I started writing this after 1x06 and kept coming back to it with every new episode, but it was never good enough. Still not sure, but I just wanted to write down my impressions on these two, mostly on Will and what's been going on with him lately.

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 **Now You Know**

Will knew he cared deeply for Natalie, but it took her overbearing mother-in-law to make him realize his true feelings. Or rather, Helen was responsible for making him face the truth so he'd stop lying to himself about his feelings.

Seven months since Jeff, Nat's husband and father of her child, had passed away in the line of duty. And it took just about that time for Will to fall in love with her.

It certainly hadn't been intentional. Many times now he'd thought, why can't I fall for a drama-free girl, like say April? (Of course, if he truly thought about it he'd get to the conclusion that he'd end up in a love triangle at some point (because Severide), so it wouldn't be exactly drama free.) But still, it's not like he thought, hey so who in this city would be the worst possible person for me to fall in love with right now? Natalie Manning was lovely and remarkable and amazing and he was so lucky to have her in his life. But she was also a pregnant widow who already had too much on her plate without him adding his own issues on top of that.

He could understand where Helen was coming from. She worried about Nat, of course she did, but she also worried about losing the last connection she had to her son, the one thing that kept her sane and kept her going in a time of such grief and loss, because there was something to look forward to despite everything that had happened. Owen, her grandson.

But Will would never want to take that away from her. She would forever be tied to Nat and Owen, more so than he ever could be. Even if somehow Nat felt the same way about him—and he wasn't sure that was the case—he didn't want to substitute Jeff.

Maybe it wasn't out of conscious thought, and he's not justifying any of his actions, but maybe that was the reason why Will had been behaving so aggressively the past few weeks, especially with her. That cancer patient and all of her similarities to mom certainly hadn't helped matters, but maybe he would've been fine with all of that if he hadn't already been dealing with so many conflicting feelings.

He wasn't the best at expressing himself. That had never been the one of the strong traits of the Halstead men. They usually just kept it all in until it built up and exploded in everyone's face. But how should he deal with something that was so impossible? How would talking about it help at all? And he could now see how he was a man of action. Working in the ED was satisfying like plastics never had been, he felt in his element, thinking on his feet and acting fast to save lives. He and Jay were just the same in that regard.

He couldn't talk about it, so he went with actions. He pushed Nat away. He gave in and went out with Zoey—she was nice, attractive and so into him. And more importantly, drama-free. Maybe he could fall for her. So he tried going out with her and he did like her. That could've been an answer to all his problems.

But then why was he still so frustrated and so mad, especially when dealing with Nat? Why had he exploded like that, accusing her of something so insane like causing his patient's death?

So then it got to a point that he had to talk. He had to talk to her, to apologize and try to make amends. And she was mad, rightfully mad, she deserved answers and she deserved to be treated so much better than this.

"Don't you know?" The words came out of his mouth as if on their own. He certainly hadn't planned on going down this road right now.

Nat still looked at him with confused and hurt eyes. "No." It was an affirmation but it sounded like a question. Because she didn't know. She didn't know.

Will was a man of actions. So actions took over and before he knew what he was doing his hand was on the back of her head and his lips were on hers. He kissed her, like he'd wanted to kiss her for so long. And it was so bittersweet now because it came at the worst possible moment, but he couldn't stop himself.

As he let go and she just looked him, he felt like he was sleepwalking. Like this wasn't exactly real and for a moment he didn't understand how they got to this place. But it was real and he'd done it and it couldn't be undone.

He walked away because he couldn't impose himself on her anymore. And as she watched him walk away, Nat couldn't honestly say that she was surprised anymore. Before she didn't know, she couldn't be sure. Now it was out, in the open. Now she knew. And she had to think what she was going to do about it.

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A.N.: Short piece. It's all in Nat's hands now, the way I see it. And yes, Will was being a dick to her the past few weeks (the whole ethical debacle with the DNR notwithstanding), and it's not an excuse, but I liked getting inside his head and seeing it with his point of view.


End file.
